That's...disappointing

It's seems like no matter what I might think one day... a day or two later I realize what an idiot I can be.
I get my hopes up...for what?  Just to get them stomped on and brought back down to reality.  People disappoint you.  Consistently.

Maybe you're on to something.  Maybe I should just blockade my heart, my emotions, my ability to hope, behind a fortress.  Maybe you could teach me how to do that.  How to convince myself I don't care...don't give a damn.  I'm beginning to see the upside to shutting that down. That can't possibly hurt as much as this does.

But if/when I do...it will shut down completely.  Good luck getting it back into the light of day.  My heart is kinda stubborn like that.  And right now...it's kind of shattered.