Fear of the Unknown

I admit it.  I’m a little scared.  There isn’t much that scares me either, so this is definitely an accomplishment on your part.  And this is one of those varieties of scared that can go either way.  It can be a good thing or a not so good thing.  That ball is in your court.  Which is why it scares me.  It’s that fear of the unknown thing I hear so much about but usually think is BS.  I feel like I should take back every time I’ve said that about someone’s fear now.  It’s real. 

Anyone who knows me well (and you do), knows that I roll with the punches.  I take life as it comes at me and I make the best of what it gives me.  Life gave me you and I have been taking it for what it is and enjoying the hell out of every moment.  The problem is, in the process, I’ve grown to want more of those moments to enjoy.  And now I am not so sure you feel the same . . . hence the unknown factor here.  I don’t want my happy moments to be taken away.  I don’t want them to dwindle until there are weeks in between, then nothing at all.  I deserve more than that.  And yes, I could easily and quickly find someone else to occupy my time with and I’m certain I’d enjoy myself.  I always try to.  But below the surface, it wouldn’t be the same.  It wouldn’t be you.  And that would be doubly terrible . . . because I’m not going to find another you and you are definitely not going to find another me. I do hope you think about that while you’re processing.  Because just as much as I want to be happy . . . I want you to be happy too.  So you have to ask yourself, do I make you happy enough to want more of those moments?